You know the other person isn’t going to walk, promising not to walk when things get tough.”Asked about same-sex relationships and unions, Keller said that God created marriage for the benefit of a man and woman to become full in a “project” that changes and disciples them in a way that cannot happen in the same way for two people of the same sex.“This book is talking about what the Bible says about marriage.
“You are looking for a person who understands you, that can be your best friend, and your best counselor, and is going on a journey with you to help you become all that God wants you to be.”“Two people coming into a Christian marriage should actually say, ‘We are here to help change each other,’” he explained.
Kathy Keller said that relationships are guaranteed their difficulties and that a couple needs to realize the importance of working together to get back on track.“The advice that we’ve always given is that you find someone that you want to solve problems with and know that this relationship is worth so much to you that you actually want to go through the mess,” she said.
In older cultures it was pressured upon people to get married and have kids so that one would have caretakers in old age and to leave a legacy when they pass. Even widows were pushed to remarry so that they would have support and care. No longer did people need to rely on family, for God was their family, and other believers were their family. Jesus broke the mold and showed others how to have hope in God.
This attitude released the pressure of singleness and marriage…
“In other words, you get glimpses of future greatness [even though] you know the person is very flawed.
Yet, you get excited about their future self as well as who they are now and you say ‘I want to be a part of getting you there.’”Keller, who leads Redeemer Presbyterian Church in New York City, said the desire to see the other person succeed in Christ should be mutual.“You want the person doing the same for you, in which case you are not really looking for a person primarily that gives you great sexual chemistry, or romantic chemistry for you,” he said.
“If you establish ‘what’s your mission,’ that can rejuvenate any marriage.”Contrary to a popular belief that marriage restricts a person’s freedom, the Kellers said they believe marriage allows one to become what God really wants him or her to become and therefore is unrestricted by self-will.“A lot of people are afraid that a vow limits your freedom. You are really more free by making a vow and sticking with it than in a sense being the victim of your own desires, and impulses, and feelings,” Keller stated.
“The marriage vow makes it possible for you to be intimate because you can be yourself.
A man would be invited into a woman’s home to meet her family and to observe her way of living.
This process evolved into another form of dating where a man and woman would “go-out” and experience things together such as eating at a restaurant or attending a concert.
Remnants of the ancient cultures seep into hearts and distort views on whether it is better to marry or not.