Unapologetically America-centric because I’m not informed enough to make it otherwise.
Try to keep this off Reddit and other similar sorts of things.] I.
Someone who thinks divorce is abhorrent can “forgive” divorce.
[Content warning: Politics, religion, social justice, spoilers for “The Secret of Father Brown”.This isn’t especially original to me and I don’t claim anything more than to be explaining and rewording things I have heard from a bunch of other people.I want to avoid a very easy trap, which is saying that outgroups are about how different you are, or how hostile you are. Compare the Nazis to the German Jews and to the Japanese.The Nazis were very similar to the German Jews: they looked the same, spoke the same language, came from a similar culture.You forgive a conventional duel just as you forgive a conventional divorce.
You forgive because there isn’t anything to be forgiven.The priest tells them: It seems to me that you only pardon the sins that you don’t really think sinful.You only forgive criminals when they commit what you don’t regard as crimes, but rather as conventions.Heck, the Nazis were actually moderately positively disposed to the Chinese, even when they were technically at war. Anyone in the former Yugoslavia and anyone else in the former Yugoslavia. Find the Yugoslavian ethnicity that lives closely intermingled with them and is most conspicuously similar to them, and chances are you’ll find the one who they have eight hundred years of seething hatred toward. The answer with Germans and Japanese is obvious – a strategic alliance.Meanwhile, the conflict between the Nazis and the German Jews – some of whom didn’t even realize they were anything other than German until they checked their grandparents’ birth certificate – is the stuff of history and nightmares. In fact, the World Wars forged a lot of unexpected temporary pseudo-friendships.But since forgiveness is generally considered a virtue, and one that many want credit for having, I think it’s fair to say you only earn the right to call yourself ‘forgiving’ if you forgive things that genuinely hurt you.