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They each offered a different piece of the puzzle I was looking for, and by dating them all at the same time, I started to realize the things that were most important to me.It was my lightbulb moment: The 5 Guy Guide was born. "But how can I find five guys if I can't even find one? In fact, you may already have found them; some of them may already be in your life.

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The vibe is to only call them back if you feel like it.

Only answer a Face Time if it's a good time for you.

And—spoiler—for my friends and me, this dating method has led to all of us getting engaged.

Because have you ever been "ghosted" after a first date?

For example, I met up with a guy whose profile picture wasn't exactly my type, but hey, he liked comedy and had an adorable profile and picked a dope restaurant. Another was a surfer in Hermosa Beach who on the surface lacked ambition but that Modern Art Museum membership he had was good enough for me to check him out while we both checked out the new collection. Or perhaps you love '80s music—this guy used to be an exec at Capitol Records!

Step 2: Assemble 5 Good guys Here's who you need: The Professor: A guy who's an expert on a topic you love. He may not be everything you need but damn that Pat Benatar concert was fun, or how cool was it to cuddle while watching Venus Williams play? Post major break-up, sifting through the detritus of my life, I found “THE LIST." Years before, after another brutal split, I had written out an honest list of everything I wanted in a life partner.From being nice to children and the elderly, to detailed sexual desires I wouldn't let anyone read, I didn't hold back. It was my moment except it was more like Eat, Cry, Eat. So I made a promise to myself: The next guy I was going to meet would be the 100% guy. My hand grabbed the nearest thick red marker and at the top of the list I announced: Armed with my new mandate and ready to move on, I started to date men again.In the era of swipe left culture, even the slightest mention of art, pop culture, or politics in the small bio of a thumbnail on my i Phone would give me the go-ahead to judge their personality. The lid to my pot may have been swiped or blocked long ago. I could have banished him to the Dark i Cloud for a bad selfie (although I still maintain the "selfie standard": a messy room, a filthy carpet or a dirty bathroom mirror is a deal breaker! Sure, I'll spend my hard-earned money on a Coldplay concert, or go to club where I can't hear or talk to you. Because that's where the guy who goes to art galleries is.It bored me and prevented me from connecting with interesting people, and any budding connection stayed on the surface—but I'm cool dammit! I had a long list of what I was looking for in the 100% guy. At the art gallery." That's when it dawned on me that I needed to BE the type of person I wanted to be with.Here's how it works: Step 1: Write out two lists—the partner wish list and a list of things you like to do.