On Tinder, there’s no way to judge mannerisms, tone of voice, height (very important in the online dating world), and really, overall personality.
How many times have you found yourself on a Tinder date with someone who seemed great online, but in real life wore a ton of man jewelry and pawed at you all night asking why you’re so afraid of intimacy?
I signed up for a Monday night event with Speed NY Dating (because what else was I going to do on a Monday night?
The operative word being when Ross fell asleep on the train and accidentally rode to Montreal when he was dating a girl from Poughkeepsie? You have to be tough to live in a city where rats can afford more pizza than you.Well, even though that was fake, 10 stops and a subway transfer constituting a long-distance relationship for a New Yorker is real. The longer someone's lived here, the more likely it is they've become extremely self-sufficient, and are therefore reluctant, to let others help them. One of the best things about living in a city like New York is you are literally surrounded by new, interesting, smart, attractive people constantly.Studying these creatures in their natural dating habitat is so intriguing it’s kept Darren Star flooded with cash more than a decade after he decided Carrie winds up with Mr. Sure, phone addiction is a nationwide epidemic, but New Yorkers have developed their own specific strain of ADHD. No, not in the way you're thinking (though, honestly, probably that way, too).While on the date, they’ll involuntarily check their email and Instagram, and may even order Seamless to be ready for them when they get home. New Yorkers are some of the most selfish people in the world -- they'll put their needs and desires before yours without a second thought. A huge part of living in New York is about being out for yourself, so you can imagine how odd it will seem to them if you don’t put yourself first as well.Inside, it looked more or less like a restaurant preparing itself for regular dinner service (dim lighting, candlelit tables), rather than the morose, clinical vision I had concocted of name tags, clipboards, and other trappings of business conferences.
People filed in one at a time and checked in with the hostess, who cleared their name from a list and handed them a card for keeping track of dates that night.If there are no matches, you’ll never know who liked you and vice versa -- somewhat akin to Tinder. There was the guy who just moved here from Texas who taught college courses online and was going to Venice for the summer because he could work from anywhere; the man who was raised by parents in the UN who spent his childhood in France, Morocco, Dubai, Rome, and about six other places; or the man who wasn’t physically my “type,” but who made me smile with his over-the-top laugh.Far from what I expected, the majority of guys I met were… The constant flow of visuals in front of my face was also kind of like swiping through Tinder... But here’s where speed dating is completely different (read: infinitely better) than Tinder and any other dating app -- it accounts for chemistry.Everyone was gainfully employed, sociable (mostly), and somewhat attractive (again, mostly).The best part is that, drastically unlike Tinder, everyone there was actually looking for a relationship, or at the very least a second date.After I was sure enough that the people at the restaurant were there for speed dating, I rose from the bar, took a seat on the ladies’ side of the tables, and waited for my first prospective match made in heaven. Women sit on one side of the table while men rotate from seat to seat in front of them. After five minutes, the men move to the next seat, and so on.