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Often, you have to swoosh them out with a broom, while they hiss at you the entire time. Must be fluent in the classics: "The Big Lebowski," "Chinatown," "Moonstruck," "Caddyshack" and Donald Sutherland's masterwork, "Kelly's Heroes."Rule 8.

James Garner and David Spade later joined the main cast as Cate's father and nephew, Jim Egan and C. Barnes, in an attempt to fill the void left by Ritter.

After three seasons, ABC cancelled 8 Simple Rules in May 2005 due to low ratings.

The series ran on ABC from September 17, 2002 to April 15, 2005.

The first season focused on Paul being left in charge of the kids after Cate takes a full-time job as a nurse, with comedic emphasis on his often strict rules concerning his daughters and dating.

Once upon a time, callow young men almost always met their dates' dads.

This ritual vetting was an important part of protecting the human species from random romantic mistakes.

The third season (after Ritter's death) took a creative turn, revolving more around cousin C. (David Spade) and grandfather Jim (James Garner), than the immediate Hennessy family, more specifically not revolving around the raising of the Hennessy girls.

After the novelty of newly added ensemble characters wore off, the series returned to its original format.

As a new boyfriend, you'd rather get your skull drilled than meet your date's old man for the first time, yet meet him you did.

You'd throw your shoulders back and wipe your clammy paw against your sweater in anticipation of his too-firm handshake.

Here's what I presented to him: "10 Simple Rules for Dating My Millennial Daughter": Rule 1. Must agree that light beer is fine, but decaf coffee is "merely a cup of lies."MORE FROM THE MIDDLE AGES: Fall makes all of us see routine things with fresh eyes, even coffee-flavored onions Our columnist has cargo shorts and a bullhorn: Let the revolution begin!